A Busy Year Summary

It seems like I have started logging in this blog once a year just to write a end of year summary. 

2015 brought a lot of changes in my life, I have become father, a time of tremendous joy and happiness. A sense of greater responsibilities towards family has arisen. I sometime look at my parents and grandparents and appreciate the fact that I was blessed to be born in the family. I was given the best childhood, education possibly available and so on. I could have been born in any place to anyone because this is just a chance. Every-time my philosophical calculation of probabilities of coincidences that have put me where I am today gets me dizzy, I have nothing but gratitude and gratefulness towards God or whatever people name it. I wish my daughter in future can accept the challenge and gift of life as I have and enjoys it. It is just too beautiful.

I was able to finish the poetry collection and get it published. Therefore, I can now be officially proud as a published writer, I guess. It was my childhood dream, my passion and my calling. It is sad that I have not been able to write as much and work on my next project-short stories. First world gives material pleasure but it rushes your life. I feel "short" on time every day-go to job, pay bill, little family time, job, bills....This cycle of redundancy makes it rather uninteresting and it provides me no materials for my writing. I find no characters around. All characters I met at job or market place or other meeting are just "stressed people" just for livelihood. I don't any color and vigor in them. The energy seems to be low and fake. And this includes me. Burden of just sustaining daily life puts Hercules pressure on people in this first world. I attempt to get out of this circle, philosophically, mentally and try my best to produce something but it has not been easy.

This year also brought me emotional roller coaster of uncertainty and confusion. Sickness in the family, inability to pick immigration decisions and a job that I wished I quit four years ago didn't help my well being. But tis gone. I believe-all problems has solution-multiple solutions most of the times, we are just clanged on to our comfort level of not wanting to change. Resistant to change is natural but only breaking of it can bring new beginning. My lesson learned from all the experience is: Make the best decision that you think of at any given situation and move on. Do not look back right away. May be down the road check if you right. If it was right- great. If it was not- move on-you learned another lesson in the process. No mistake is costly mistake in life if it still happened after careful, thoughtful pious intentions. Its is merely luck or coincidence that it happened or didn't not happen a particular way at that point.   

Overall, it was a great year. I traveled to Nepal, met my family and kin. I came back rejuvenated, energized and with full of intentions. I have plan great projects for the year 2016. I hope everyone happy holidays, and happy new year. God bless you. 

आधारशिबिरमा मनको भुइंचालो

मनभित्रका संघर्ष

बर्षायामको बादलझैं  

कालो- निलोभै मडरिंदा,

सुनौलो भबिस्यका योजना

आखैं अगाडि पछारिंदा,

मनको भुइंचालो जांदा,

सपनाको पहिरो लडदा,

बीरहको बाढी आउदा,

निराशाको हुरी चल्दा,

न गीतले मन भुल्छ,

न फूलले मन् झुल्छ,

केबल मौन आत्मा

सडकभरि भौतारिएर, 

कहालिएर,

अत्तालिएर,

अफ्नै चिरपरिचित शहरमा पस्न खोज्छ;

अफ्नै आधारशिबिरमा बस्न रोज्छ ...

थकित ह्रिदयको एक तरङ

आफैं रङिन भएर 

खडेरी परेको भाग्यमा

आशुले सिचाई गर्छ,

पहिरो गएको मुटुमा

आशाको पूल हाल्छ,

डांडापारीको घामझैं

उदास भएर सुस्ताए पनि

त्रसित मनको एक तरङ

थकित पाउंमा,

इश्र्वर भाकी

प्रथानाको मलम लाउंछ;

अौशीको  रातको जुनकिरिझैं

अधितिय अस्तित्व खोज्छ,

युद्द हारे पनि

जीवन पाएको योद्दाझैं

भोलीको आशमा,

दियो बालेर भरोशामा

अफ्नै चिरपरिचित शहरमा पस्न खोज्छ;

अफ्नै आधारशिबिरमा बस्न रोज्छ ।

June 21st 2015

Restless Days

As the earthquake begins to subside in Nepal, my internal earthquakes has begun to rumble. I have been having attacks of spasm because of my inability to be decisive and firm. I think over things too much and I change my mind too much. Being over prepared has backfired me. My plans have collapsed, and now, I have to rebuild it from the base like people have to rebuild from the foundation in Nepal.

I can't call myself unlucky as I have been tremendously lucky in many aspects of life. I am grateful for things that has happened to me. Life has given me plethora of joyous moments and it has presented me with various opportunities. I have been blessed in that sense. When I see people less fortunate than me, I realize that fact. The targets that I have put for myself were realistic- getting a book published, buying a house, starting a family, settling in some good country, retiring early to do something for others etc. I am close, yet too far from it. My restlessness comes from unpredictable turn of events, and my confusion with what is the right thing at that right moment. Or maybe I simply regret about that bigger fish that I did not catch? I am not sure. These days, I just try to be patient and search hints in the crazy dreams that I see every day. 

My Beginning Portfolio

I will update my Investment Portfolio shortly.

छोटो लगौटी

उही काका नपर्ने भगवानले
दुई मुठी सास हालेर
यस धर्तीमा फालिदिएकाछन्,
त्यसमाथि नाना-भातिका
गिजोलगाजल हालिदिएकाछन्,
यो निरर्थक भौतिक्तामा
सबै रमाएको बेला
मेरो गीतन्जली
सुनिदेने पनि कोही छैन,
यो क्षणिक लीलामा
सबै रमाएको बेला
मेरो कबिता
गुनिदिने पनि कोहि छैन ।

अत्रिप्ती ...
निरश ...
अन्धकार ...
कोलाहाल...
कौवाको भिडमा बकुल्ला...
कहाँ जाउ ?
के गरु ?
छोटो लगौटी भएको छ जिन्दगि ।

यता ताने उता फुस्किने,
उता ताने यता खुस्किने,
छोटो लगौटी भएको छ जिन्दगि ।

यो संसारमा मलाई
न भुतको पस्चताप छ,
यो संसारमा मलाई
न भबिस्वको चिन्ता छ,
छ त केवल बर्तमानको गुनासो
हिजोको भबिस्य र भोलीको भुतको...
येतिबेलाको मात्र...

मलाई मरेपछीको
स्वर्गको मतलब छैन
मरे पछि मरिहाल्छु;

यही प्रिथीमा स्वर्गको उर्जा छ...
स्वर्ग त मेरो घर नै हो,
एकदिन पुगिहाल्छु
तर यो मेरो आधार-सिबिरमा बसुन्जेल
पानी पधेरो त धाउनै पर्‍यो
छोटै नै भए पनि
लगौटी त लाउनै पर्‍यो ।

मर्नु त छदै छ एक दिन
मर्नलाई डर थिएन,
बाँच्न नै मन नभए
बाँच्नलाई पनि कर थिएन,
तर सोच्छु:
जस्तो भए पनि
जीवनको दान पाएको छु
एक चोटि फेरि
जीवनको गीत त गाउनै पर्‍यो,
छोटो नै भए पनि
लगौटी त लाउनै पर्‍यो ।

हरेक एकान्त क्षणमा
मेरो पुकार यति हो
निर्दयी परमात्मासँग
मेरो गुहार त्यती हो:
मेरा अनगिन्ती आसुहरुमा
एउटा चासो पनि लिन सकेनौ ?
फलिनै त दियौ यो स्वर्ग रुपी नर्गमा,
एउटा गतिलो जीवन-लगौटी पनि दिन सकेनौ ?

Oct 24th 2010
Irving, Tx

Pushing the Rock Uphill

When man is utterly helpless, he throws out his hand, looks up to the sky and asks- “WHY?” He weeps in private, or in the shower, because he does not want to show the world that he is a coward. Who does not want to know the cause of all cause. Does he not look for hope in churches, mosques and temples…and ask again- “WHY?”

Temple answers- your deeds in your last life.ho

Church says- Adam, Original Sin.

Mosque commands- God’s will, you have no say.

Jains- Go naked.

Stupas- Desires, expectations, shave your head, wear orange.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Source: Google pic

My Favorites- Stock Market Investment News, Analysis & Research Sites

Traders and Investing enthusiasts,

Investing has broad scope. For beginners like myself, excessive researches and reading is necessary to understand it better. I use websites, screeners, and applications to educate myself. Here is list of some of my favorite sites that are useful in making investing or trading decisions. I use most of them for research and information. They are in random order as I am not going to rank them. Please check the respective links to learn more about them.

Investment 101

Hello new investors and all those who are interested, lets begin the class.

What is investing?

The act of committing money or capital to an endeavor with the expectation of obtaining an additional income or profit- per Investopedia.

My Simple Investing Reason

For few years, I followed the stock market, I read about investing, growth, retirement, and money. Then I started to experiment myself. I am fascinated by how western world work versus the eastern world in regard to investment. In eastern world, especially, south east Asia, children are considered to be the investment (of course-literally as well), whereas western world, investment is purely monetary and about finance. Eastern parents think if they raise kids in a proper way, their kids will look after them when they grow old. They save and spend everything for the kids. Western folks have nursing home waiting for them in their old age. If they invested in time, gained some wealth and saved for retirement, it might come handy-otherwise there is lot of trouble, anxiety and depression. Financial freedom, and independence is absolute requirement if we live in western world.

About Me

I am an aspiring writer. I started this blog in 2008. On and off, I blogged for a while. I was continuously interrupted by school, job and other daily things in life. At that time, the purpose of this blog was to act as “work in progress” for my future publications. Although I have a day job as a healthcare worker, I spent lots on time on writing or at this point, thinking about writing. I am also an investment enthusiast. I love philosophy and literature. I spent lot of time thinking about things.