BP, Ego and Enemies

Human body is very flexible, not just physically but psychologically too. Only few years ago, I ran for 4-5 miles easily, every day without any discomfort of any kind. But when I quit doing it, it is even hard for me to run for 5 yards for minutes without suffering, what looks like an asthma attack. Body has gone dull, very passive, lot of fat and laziness has accumulated. Two days of fun soccer and whole body is sore. Our body can be trained and we can somersault in the air, and we quit doing it, we get heart attack when we bend to pick up something from floor.  As kids, we used to see note books in stationery shop that has “Health is wealth” on the cover. Fitness means prevention of most of lazy man’s diseases like obesity, varicose vain, embolism and so on. Motivation is needed to get back in shape, somewhat.

Last time I was writing about a fat black prostitute girl in Kenya, Beatrice. I just had to finish it for my own note and memory. It is very hurtful to be betrayed by someone who you trust the most. When the rich young guy, on whose chest Beatrice cries, falls asleep ignoring all her life-story, she gets absolutely furious. Human nature is such. Love is such a thing our heart desires, and on scarcity of love, or a denial of compassion or because of non-acceptance of the surrender of love to the beloved, the mind goes mad. Ego is hurt. Anger is the only verdict. When people are angry, they go blind in all senses. A chaos, conflict, a turmoil is created and only way out from these, (concluded by human mind in such situation) is revenge. Ego is a very dangerous thing. It is better when kept in closest. But when ego comes out of closet because of bible reading or by a philosophical investigation, or mystic examination of self, or just by everyday happenings like wife’s gossiping, it can destroy the world.

All the political, tribal, ethnic wars in the human history, all the internal conflicts, all hatred between people are because of ego. People are evolved in such a way. Although Darwin’s famous discoveries like Natural Selection, Survival of the Fittest, Struggle for Existence have overwhelming presence, evidences and examples, in the core of my heart, I really do believe that it should not be our way of life. We should not create world around us based in such foundations. Although, I know in my heart, it is impossible to make ‘Superhuman’ that Nietzsche has famously described in all his writings, especially his famous book “Thus Spake Zarathustra”, I can’t see how a guy or some group claiming to have God’s revelation can dictate the whole of God’s divine plan in funny books. Ego is there, believe it or not, in all levels in all humans in all stages of life. Ego is evident. Beatrice had a hurt feeling because someone played with her trust. She decided to take revenge.

Now suddenly my mind jumps to another great story by B.P. Koirala. Almost all Nepalese read this story in school or college: Satru (Enemy). I love BP’s writing. I think I can write books about his stories. When I found out in school that BP Koirala is not just a politician but he writes too, I was surprised. I hated politicians and I thought that all he wrote probably was his stupid ideologies or anti monarchial philosophy or some Mao or Karl influenced junk. When I started reading his books, I could not believe his fluidity, genuine dialogues, everyday characters, unimaginative story setting, simple yet significance of life’s particular events, and omission of political ideologies of all kind in his writings. His story Sannani (Little Girl) is one of my all- time favorite stories. I have read the story about 100 times and the last paragraph of it; I have probably read and 1000 times. He could have not written it better and he then established the telepathy with me, although he died much earlier, even before my birth. I could not agree more, I would not have expressed it differently. I was so involved in it. For many people it is like another simple story and people have compared my love of that story to expression like “for Arsenal fanatic, Robert Pires was (some day) the ‘winger of the century’”.  ‘Narendra Dai’ has parts of Sannani repeated in it, if I remember it right, even the dialogues. I believe it is a true story. Most of his stories were based on real people; on most occasion his own life events. ‘Hitler and Jews’ is another book, not as popular as the tittle may suggest but brilliant in my eyes. In short, he is one of the writers for whom I didn’t start with great deal of opinion but totally changed my position. His story Satru (enemy) is a classic one. If I say: almost all Nepalese consider it to be one of the bests, it won’t be an overrated statement.

Mukhiya Baje, a gentleman, a chief judge and a pious man is satisfied with his life, and content in thinking that all he has done is good to people, serve the justice system, help poor, defended weak, adopted orphans etc. He is proud within, that he has no enemies at all. He never did any wrong to anyone. One day when returning to his home in the evening, a stick drops out of nowhere and breaks in front of him. He starts to wonder- “Is that targeted at me? Is someone trying to hurt me? Does the stick just fall by itself?” He always thought he had no enemies. So he starts reevaluating the incident. It is dark, he cannot see anyone. He starts to think who could be his enemy. He always fought for the right side on right cause, helped the needy, and had compassion for women and children. What could have he done wrong to infuriate someone that they would attack him to hurt him? He thought he was AJAT SATRU. He starts remembering his life like a movie; let us call it ‘flash backing’. He remembers many incidents which I don’t remember here accurately but vaguely and I will use my own version here, which will serve my purpose of explaining.

He was a judge in a case where someone tried to scam an innocent guy, so he judged against the former. That guy, Harke, I will call him here could be his enemy. His ego must have hurt. He called Turke ‘stupid’ at panchayat meeting, may be many years ago, probably in childhood, who could have been seeking revenge. His wife could be plotting against him to kill him and elope with her lover. Birkhe could be trying to hurt him because Mukhiya may have called his wife ‘beautiful’ in general conversation but Birkhe thought that it was in lust. Furke must have hated Mukhiya’s idea of building a temple close to his house because women would come early and ring the bell in the temple to worship, which would disturb Lurke’s sex life. Surke must have been angered that Mukhiya’s son is following his daughter in village. Churke must be seeking revenge because Mukhiya’a father had sexually abused Churkre’s brother when he was young.

“Why would not my adopted son try to kill me?” thinks Mukhiya, “he is not my real blood.” He might be seeking to get all my property after my death or claim insurance etc.” Mukhiya got bitter in heart. He concluded- no one can be aloof, devoid of enemies. Any action on any things will create enemies. This is a general lesson: Humanity 101. We live in a world where even people like Jesus are crucified. Even God has enemies. Enemies are just created because of ego, mostly for nothing, irrelevant, small issues. Just a stick is dropped from nowhere we can realize how many enemies we have created. We cannot avoid it.  Another famous and my personal favorite story, ‘Enemy’ by Anton Chekov is a brilliant one. We do not require a big border issue to have enemies or brutal murder of family member to seek revenge.  No mass murder, no terrorism, no money conflict, no wife dishonor is needed. We are stupid enough and its just destiny that enemy are created here and there, right and left, at work, at park , at coffee shop, in a religious meeting, even during a  lunch break.

I look at my life and see enemies everywhere. I have made them without even trying. I have accepted challenges from enemies without even knowing what the challenge is about. I have been stupid. I have been indifferent and silent and it has not helped. I have created more and more. I don’t know if someone from my childhood is still angry at me because I pushed them in a line, or caused someone to bruise their knee or argue with someone on who was the best singer of all or accidently a spit bubble from my mouth landed on someone’s bald head during a conversation or I eve-teased some girls by my Galli? Who knows how many enemies I have made?