It seems like I have started logging in this blog once a year just to write a end of year summary.
2015 brought a lot of changes in my life, I have become father, a time of tremendous joy and happiness. A sense of greater responsibilities towards family has arisen. I sometime look at my parents and grandparents and appreciate the fact that I was blessed to be born in the family. I was given the best childhood, education possibly available and so on. I could have been born in any place to anyone because this is just a chance. Every-time my philosophical calculation of probabilities of coincidences that have put me where I am today gets me dizzy, I have nothing but gratitude and gratefulness towards God or whatever people name it. I wish my daughter in future can accept the challenge and gift of life as I have and enjoys it. It is just too beautiful.
I was able to finish the poetry collection and get it published. Therefore, I can now be officially proud as a published writer, I guess. It was my childhood dream, my passion and my calling. It is sad that I have not been able to write as much and work on my next project-short stories. First world gives material pleasure but it rushes your life. I feel "short" on time every day-go to job, pay bill, little family time, job, bills....This cycle of redundancy makes it rather uninteresting and it provides me no materials for my writing. I find no characters around. All characters I met at job or market place or other meeting are just "stressed people" just for livelihood. I don't any color and vigor in them. The energy seems to be low and fake. And this includes me. Burden of just sustaining daily life puts Hercules pressure on people in this first world. I attempt to get out of this circle, philosophically, mentally and try my best to produce something but it has not been easy.
This year also brought me emotional roller coaster of uncertainty and confusion. Sickness in the family, inability to pick immigration decisions and a job that I wished I quit four years ago didn't help my well being. But tis gone. I believe-all problems has solution-multiple solutions most of the times, we are just clanged on to our comfort level of not wanting to change. Resistant to change is natural but only breaking of it can bring new beginning. My lesson learned from all the experience is: Make the best decision that you think of at any given situation and move on. Do not look back right away. May be down the road check if you right. If it was right- great. If it was not- move on-you learned another lesson in the process. No mistake is costly mistake in life if it still happened after careful, thoughtful pious intentions. Its is merely luck or coincidence that it happened or didn't not happen a particular way at that point.
Overall, it was a great year. I traveled to Nepal, met my family and kin. I came back rejuvenated, energized and with full of intentions. I have plan great projects for the year 2016. I hope everyone happy holidays, and happy new year. God bless you.
